Growing up Audhild

Here we go again! 3rd week. The question this week. What song best describes your life? The song I feel like best describes me is She used to be mine by Sara Bareilles.

When this song came out it was made for the Broadway musical Waitress. The musical is about a waitress Jenna at a diner who loves to bake pies. Jenna is also in an abusive relationship. She finds out at the start that she is pregnant with her husband’s child. Jenna at first was reluctant with the news of the baby feeling like it might trap her in her marriage forever. She then meets her doctor and has an affair with him. Jenna decides to join a pie baking contest in hopes that winning it will get her away from her abusive husband.

My husband wasn’t physically abusive, but while I was pregnant, he had an affair and abandoned me and our children. This experience changed me profoundly, and the song resonated with me during that time.

First verse: Its not simple to say: That most days I don’t recognize me: That these shoes and this apron: that place and its patrons: have taken more then I gave them:

I would be lying if I said that there are still days, I feel like I have put more into other people, places, and things more than they deserved.

Second verse: It’s not easy to know: I’m not anything like I used to be: Although it’s true: I was never attention’s sweet center: I still remember that girl.

I still believe I wasn’t entirely a person, but in some ways, I was and still am. This verse, “I still remember that girl,” reminds me that I was someone else before life-altering experiences changed me. Eventually, I realized that the girl I once was is no longer part of me.

Fourth verse: She’s imperfect, But she tries: She is good, but she lies: She is hard on herself: She is broken and wont ask for help: she is messy but she’s kind: she is lonely most of the time: she is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie: she is gone but she used to be mine.

Previously, I was sweet, innocent, and hopeful. Experiences changed me, making me more aware of people’s true nature. I built walls, learned to trust no one, and realized I must love myself as no one else would. Ultimately, I understood that only I can truly care for myself and my children.

Fifth verse: You’re not what I asked for: if I’m honest I know I would take it all back: for a chance to start over: and rewrite an ending or two: for the girl that I knew.

It may seem hurtful or mean, but I would change my past choices for my children’s better childhood if I knew then what I know now.

Sixth verse: Who was reckless just enough: who gets hurt: but who learns how to toughen up when she’s bruised: and gets used by a man who can’t love: and then she’ll get stuck and be scared: for the life that’s inside her: getting stronger each day ‘till it finally reminds her: to fight just a little to bring back the fire in her eyes: that’s been gone, but use to be mine: oh, used to be mine.

This verse holds great importance in the song. I learned how to be resilient when dealing with individuals, including a boy who did not return my feelings as I had hoped. After the birth of my children, I found the strength to leave the situation behind.

Final verse: she is messy, but she’s kind: she is lonely most of the time: she is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie: she is gone, but she used to be mine.

The girl I once knew is no longer here, but her memory remains. I have grown into the person she needed. As Sara Bareilles sings, “She is gone, but she used to be mine.”

“She Used to Be Mine” tells the tale of a girl who used to be kind, flawed, and lonely. Her life experiences made her strong enough to leave a man who couldn’t love her. I knew someone like that—she was brave and resilient despite facing difficulties and heartbreak. She was mine, but she’s gone now. The song expresses my feelings of loss and finding the strength to move on.